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Bob Hope: Don't Shoot, It's Only Me!

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  Bob Hope: Don't Shoot, It's Only Me!  

Bob Hope: Don't Shoot, It's Only Me!

by John Ph.D.

I've been reading the title book by Bob Hope and Melville Shavelton. One thing that I gleaned was that Bob Hope, although he had to pay them out of his own pocket, hired a boodle of writers. It was impossible to accomplish what Hope did without the writers.

If a stand-up comic goes from town to town playing to local audiences, he or she can milk a script as he or she travels. Bob Hope was a television comic so he could not use the same material over and over again. Only Milton Berle could get away with that.

As I watch Jay Leno and David Letterman, I see them strain over material. A joke presented one night will probably be presented again in a slightly different form several nights in a row. It's hard to have good material every night.

Some of you know that I have written a number of articles providing jokes for Jay Leno to use when his writers have gone dry, as they often do. Unfortunately, Jay Leno doesn't know they exist.

The articles have had good reader response and a dozen or so e-zines editors have picked them up. If you want to read the articles just put "Jokes for Jay Leno" in your ezinearticles.com search bar.

My point is that television comics need writers.

Bob Hope traveled the world on a hectic schedule entertaining service men and women, especially at Christmas. That travel gave him perspective on history. He could always see the "big picture." Of course, that came from the cue cards he was reading as well as the travel. He had the sight of a number of writers, those who traveled with him, and the audience he was entertaining.

Hope had many world leaders as friends, knew anybody that was anybody, and a lot of just plain folks like you and me. He was born in London in 1903 and died about one hundred years later having entertained millions of people. Like many comics of early television, he started in vaudeville as a dancer. His many films are available on televisions so we can still get a taste of the man. My favorite is The Paleface made in 1947. Read about Bob Hope at http://www.reference.com/search?q=Bob%20Hope Hope hired over 100 writers during his career. Learn how he handled his writers at http://www.loc.gov/exhibits/bobhope/jokes.htm His jokes have been preserved for future generations. Here's one of his jokes taken from a hand-written note in his script:

It was so crowded that the pickpockets would not take your watch unless it was gift wrapped. One had his hand in my pocket and I said, "What's the idea?" He said, "Don't get excited, I'm just making change."

Bob assigned two teams of writers to prepare the same script. He then extracted the best joke and put them in the final script. I've read that Jay Leno meets late at night with his writers and they edit much in the same way, telling the jokes and seeing if they are funny or duds. Both Leno and Letterman end up telling duds on their shows. They usually make a joke of it.

My five-year-old grandson and I exchange jokes. I called him today and told him this one:

Mother! Mother! I keep spinning around and around!

Shut up or I'll nail your other foot down to the floor!

Here's one he tells me:

Father, why do they call sister "Spring Dawn Doe?"

When she born I go out from teepee and I see a beautiful doe in the morning sun. I call her "Spring Dawn Doe."

Father, why do they call brother "Fast as Charging Cougar?"

When he born I go from teepee and a great cougar chases horses from camp. I call him "Fast as Charging Cougar?"

Father, why do they call me-

His father held up his hand and said, "Stop asking so many questions, Little Poop Face!"

The End

John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He is Executive Representative of IWS sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He also sells TopFlight flagpoles. He calls himself "Taylor Jones, the hack writer."

More info: http://www.tjbooks.com

About the Author

Business web site: tjbooks.com

Bruce & Barbara - Love Is A Killer

Hi, guys!! Here's another Bats video of one of my fave couples. Hope you like!!
This time its pretty TNBA, don't like much those revamps but it was useful for this project. ^^

Lyrics:
"Only a fool believes
It's better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all
So I don't wanna take that fall
It's a long long long way down

I'm hurt
Love struck me down again
Enticed me in and pulled the pin
Blew my tender heart sky high
Now in my pain I'm asking why
As I'm crying
Should I give it my last try
Or say goodbye

Love is a killer
A homicidal fiend
Love is a killer
It'll be the death of me
I got a target on my back
For a cupid dressed in black
Love is a killer
It's killing me

Love, so sweetly beckoning
I've seen your face, called your name
Ive tasted the tears you cried
Lived in shadows in my mind,
Frozen here in time,
Don't leave me here to die

Chorus

(Solo)

You fascinate and yet frustrate,
Demand so much of me, yeah
I've had enough, it's tearing me up inside
Cross my heart, hope to survive
You got a smoking gun,
Well don't shoot me love, no!

You're a killer

Love is a killer, no,
Love is a killer, no, no
I got a target on my back
for a cupid dressed in black
Love is a killer, it's killing me"

Episodes used:
#Over the Edge
#Old Wounds
#Love Is A Croc
#Torch Song
#Double Talk
#Joker's Millions
#Cold Comfort

Music:
(ยท)Love Is A Killer by Vixen

(c) belong to DC Comics, Vixen, Warner Bros. and companies involved. I just did this for you to enjoy. Thanks much to Bob Kane, Paul Dini, Bruce Timm & Vixen of course!! ^^

Notes:
Ive had to put that "Noo!" because I love Tara Strong's voice ^^


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